The Great Debate
by anathema15
Summary: Roy and Havoc get into a debate with two Ocs: Aki and Tristan. The topic: Famale officers should be required to wear tiny miniskirts.


**Hey all! This story was actually an rp I did with a friend of mine. We watched the movie _The Great Debators_ and....well....this happend. We thought is was really funny, and that it needed to be put up here. There are three OCs in this story. Aki Sakurai, Tristan Pike, and Maria Mustang. Just a little bit o' info on them.....**

**Aki is 22, tall, with long brown hair, red eyes, and tan skin. her right and and left ring finger are automail.**

**Tristan is a GIRL, she is Ed's age, and about half of her is made of automail.**

**Maria is Roy's younger sister, she is a Lt. Colonel, and she hates Tristan with a passion. Her forearms are made of automail. Because automail is bloody awesome.**

**(And, just for fun, see if you can spot the (very subtle) Phoenix Wright reference.)**

**Oh, and Maes Hughes and Maria Mustang are there as judges.**

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Roy Mustang stood at the podium, his note cards arranged in a neat stack and his hair slicked back officially. He was in full military dress. He cleared his throat.

"Resolved," he said, "Female military officers should be required to wear tiny miniskirts."

Aki and Tristan sat to his left. Tristan glared, while Aki giggled and waved a Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes. Havoc sat to Roy's right, smoking a cigarette and not really paying attention. (In fact, he appeared to be…asleep.)

"I take you back in history to a time….when were restrained and it was considered a crime for them to show their ankles!"

Aki gasped in mock scandalized horror.

"When furniture was dressed with skirts so the legs did not excite the men! Oh, it was a sad, sad, time, my friends. But never again! Never again will the women be forced under such cruelties, or the men deprived of what is indeed half of nature! I say yes to miniskirts, Amestris! I say YES WE CAN!"

With that, Roy sat down. Someone in the back row clapped once, but the realized no one else was doing it, and stopped. Aki sighed and took the stand.

"My opponent claims that women wearing miniskirts would show how they have finally been freed from cruelty," she said, "I disagree. Forcing women to wear outfits that are _highly inappropriate _military attire is not only stupid, selfish, sexist, and a whole lot of other words that start with an "S," it would also impede the work of those officers. First of all, it is _extremely _hard to move quickly in a miniskirt without it riding up and showing your panties. And before my opponent says that he fails to see how this is a problem, I'll add another point. Miniskirts make some women feel uncomfortable. Discomfort causes unhappiness. Unhappiness causes shoddy work."

Aki took a seat and gave Tristan a high-five. Havoc took the stand.

"What my opponent…._failed_…to mention is that _some_ of the officers are single. And Amestris had become a cold, harsh country is it is willing to leave poor single men behind in the process of making an elite few comfortable. My friends, this is an abusive standard, and I _cannot_ tolerate Amestrians standing by whilst the smaller men are left behind in the dust. I propose an equal playing field! No Single Man Left Behind!"

Aki chuckled. Tristan rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Just because my opponent can't find a girlfriend doesn't mean that we should sacrifice the women's comfort for the sake of a date!"

Havoc winced.

"And forcing our women to change their uniforms is blatantly _sexist_! Why should the women have to change their uniforms into something unfit for military use, just because poor Havoc is lonely? Also, my opponent mentioned an unequal playing field for men love-wise - which, I might mention, is _not_ the goal of the military, as is _plainly_ stated in the military handbook- _forcing_ women to wear miniskirts therefore creates an unequal playing field in the line of duty! As we all know, this is the _very _central of the military! I say….NO WE CAN'T!"

"Republican," Roy muttered as everyone stood and cheered.

'OBJECTION!" Maria shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear and shut up, "THE PROSECUTION IS A JERKFACE!"

"Maria," Maes said, pulling back down to Earth (And, more physically, her seat), "This is a debate, not a trail."

"FINE. Geeze, Maes," Maria muttered, "Way to ruin all my fun…."

"And your daily insult to Tristan," Hughes pointed out.

"Hourly, actually."

"Well, then you can try again in 60 minutes," Hughes said, "Right now, we have to decide who won."

"I though it was obvious."

"It was."

"Affirmative wins!" Maria shouted.

'What part of 'impartial' don't you understand?" Hughes shouted.

"The 'im' part. I HATE TRISTAN!"

"I HATE YOU TOO!" Tristan shouted.

Maes sighed. "And the winner is…" he paused for dramatic effect. Ed started a drum roll from his irrelevant seat in the back. (Where he and Al were starting to feel quite lonely.) After about 2 minutes, Fuhrer Bradely (who was there the whole time, he just wasn't important.) shouted.

"Negative Team wins!"

Tristan and Aki high-fives and chest bumped, to which Aki cried an indignant "Ow!" Everyone cheered. Edward stood on a folding chair to see better, but it collapsed and folded on him. Chaos ensued, people cheered, caused a riot, started a spontaneous song and dance number, and basically cause havoc. The Havoc and Roy sat pouting all alone in a corner as a tumbleweed rolled by.

"Losers pay for lunch!" Aki shouted, appearing out of nowhere.

'We never agreed to that!" Roy exclaimed, startled by Aki's sudden entrance.

'I don't care," Aki said, then turned to Havoc, her eyes of full cute-chibi-mode, "Please?"

"FINE," Havoc muttered, "Least I get a date out of it."

"Its NOT a date. Its not ever CLOSE to a date. It couldn't have even been a date in a past life."

"Awww……darn….." Havoc whined.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading this and much as I enjoy writing it! (Did you find it?)**

**-Super**


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